Falling down on the job

Are there moments you question yourself as a parent? Where you feel like you are coming up short? I think anyone would be lying if they said they didn't feel this way at moments.

Lately, I feel this way a lot. I know I am not sucking up every moment I can. I am not spending every second I can with my kiddos.

I feel like I am expecting a lot from my kiddos but I am absent... Especially of Hais. Right now- it is 6:43pm. Hais has been in school all day, come home to do homework and eat dinner, and now at swim practice til 8pm.

Me. I am laying in bed. I feel like I should be there with her. I mean realistically I know that is silly. She is 11. I am 35. I am also 25 weeks preggo with twins. However, I want every second with my kids. I want to hug her and stop her from growing. I want to keep her home and keep her mine forever. I know. Two different subjects there. Basically, it all sounds like preggo emotions coming to the surface! Lol

Side note. Lee and I are toying with house hunting. We both are craving some space. We want to stay in Falcon. We know we are staying here for at least 5 more years. So this seems like the time to do something. We are looking for at least an acre. We will get an older house and a lot smaller... Which seems crazy since our family is growing. But it is worth the trade for more space and outdoor time for kiddos! Who knows if it will happen. Dreams!


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Location:Falcon Co

Rambling from Starbucks

Do you ever have those moments when you simultaneously wish time would hurry up and also slow down?  I am soo ready for the summer to be over because it means we will have our 2 exchange students here with us.  Then there is that reality check that it will mean that another summer is over with my kids.  I only have 6 more summers after this with Hais. That is devastating to think about!
I want to savor every second but they seconds pass so quickly.


I am sitting at a Starbucks in Briargate.  I am here to do homework.  Dad is in town- so I am taking advantage of the chance to escape in peace.  I had the day scheduled off already- so I am finishing homework in the corner of a very busy Starbucks.  I have discovered- I love people watching too much to accomplish much of anything here in public.  I am distracted with the family that is meeting with a photographer.  They are discussing an upcoming family shoot, outfits, locations, and poses.  The table next to me is a lady who seems to be mentoring a younger woman.  They have their bibles out and are discussing life.  Lots of activity and all I am thinking is that I wish I did not have to go to work tomorrow cause I miss being an active part of life.  I feel like life is passing me by with my crazy schedule.


Dad has already told me like 4 times in the last 48 hours that I am doing too much. I am overloading myself, unnecessarily.  He thinks I need to quit and I agree.  I love my job and love my co-workers.  However- life is flying by and there is no way to slow it down with a full time job.  I am hoping to work for one more month before I quit.  However- that feels like a lifetime away.  I give mad credit to working mommas out there. I have spent the last 12 years being a stay at home momma.  It is not without its challenges for sure.  However- I was with my kids (both a blessing and a curse at times).  I miss my kids. I miss picking them up from school. I miss having breakfast with them. I miss a clean house! lol


Another rambling post.  I think it is the theme of my blog. Going to head home cause this is not the place for me to accomplish anything!

Catch up time

Tomorrow I begin my third week of work. I honestly cannot believe how fast it has gone. Working 40 hours is not for the birds though! I am exhausted by the time I pull into the driveway at the end of the day. I am in the 12 weeks of training portion- working 8-4:30.  After twelve weeks- I will go to my normal shift of 9:30-6pm.

It has been an adjustment for all of the family. Carter goes to daycare at my work.  He has adjusted well and it is really nice because the room I am in for training is right above his daycare. This means that on breaks, I can go down and see him.  I have done that a few times. I can also watch out the windows and see him playing on their playground. 

Hais is going to after school care also. She loves loves loves it. It has been hard though for all of us- with spending the full day out of the house and then having swimming 4 nights a week as well.

It has also been tough because everything that needs to be done all week has been left to the weekend.  This leads to a crazy full Saturday. But let me tell you something. My little family rocks. They have all hung with the changes and it has been pretty painless.  I had a few worries before work started and honestly- none have come to fruition. 

One of my big worries was the house going to heck.  I get super anxious when the house is out of control messy.  I honestly thought it would be a big problem since I do 95% of the cleaning.  The house has been easy!! I think it works out that none of us are home all day- so therefore no one is home to make a mess. We have taken to just using one morning a weekend to all work together and get chores done. I have kept the laundry moving throughout the week and it has not seemed overwhelming (then again- ask me in a few months when there are 2 teenagers here too! Lol).  We just do the vacuuming, dusting, bathrooms quickly on the weekend and it is good for the week.

I am really enjoying the group I work with. There are 16 of us in our team and we are even taking the training with our manager because he does not have experience in our specific area.  There are of course 2 guys that are a little annoying but really nice guys.  I have made some amazing friends and love that I get to sit at lunch and have adult conversations. We also just got our desks this last Friday and I am in love! I am at a window desk and looking at Pikes Peak and the Air Force Academy. It is seriously stunning!

Life is going so fast. It is hard to fathom sometimes. We are a week from April. Only 4 months until Sina and Peter arrive and I am getting too excited to stand it.  We have begun to decorate their rooms. We have bought bedding, wall décor and even found the paint for the wall in Sina and Hais rooms. It is called Lilac Blossom.  It is a SUPER light purple color and I am loving how it looks. This weekend we will be looking at beds for Hais and finally getting her into her new room. 

This coming weekend- Lee and I will be heading to Vail for the First Descents Ball. First Descents was an amazing organization for me in dealing with my cancer and we are blessed to be able to give back. We will be at the Ritz Carlton Bachelor Gulch in Vail.

Luckily, we have some amazing friends who are going to watch the kiddos for us Saturday-Sunday.  We are clearly not staying at this hotel- we will be cozy at the Comfort Inn in Vail.  This hotel was a little out of our price range! We are looking forward to giving back to a great organization. We are also looking forward to a night away together! 

Well- I need to get my stuff together for the week. Lee BBQ’d some amazing chicken for me to use for lunch all week. Now to get some clothes laid out for C and I.  We are also getting Hais all set up since she has spring break the next two weeks. 

Here we go!