I am in one of those funks. Those ones where you find yourself lying in bed in the middle of the night while you husband is sound asleep next to you, near tears. I laid here last night listening to him breathe and trying to keep my tears at bay. It is not necessarily a sad feeling as much as an overwhelmed feeling.
I will speak to how military wives feel but I know there are people other than military spouses who have the feelings I will describe but I can only speak to what I know and that is being a military wife. As a military wife I am always questioning if what we are choosing is right. Is it the best thing for my family, my mental health, my husbands career, our finances, my schooling and most importantly our kid. That is a huge one. I sit here in my new house that still does not feel like home or like it could be home. It could be due to the bed that is not mine, the couch that is not mine and even the dishes that are not mine. It is about trying to reorganize your entire life again. But this time in a foreign country. It is that yucky feeling in your gut about having to put your child in another new school and worrying about her finding friends to play with. It is looking out your window and seeing a community that does not feel like home.
Do not get me wrong. I am glad to be in Germany. I played a role in getting here. I am one of those military wives that complains about moving but when the three year mark comes starts feeling antsy and ready to move. I know eventually I will be sitting here and all my stuff will be here. I will slowly feel like my home is appearing again. I will see my daughter adjusting to her new school. I will start to feel more comfortable with the language and the customs. We will get into a routine and before I know it, these feelings will be in the past. Yet as I sit here, I still stare out the window and feel lonely. I guess I feel the distance. It is that knowledge that I am at least 13-14 hours flight from home. I am figuring out the 9 hr time difference to make the phone call home. I am realizing that this life we live has made me stronger and therefor more alone at times.
I guess it is that feeling that I wish I were down the street from Ande or Holly. I wish I could just sit on their couches and drink tea and catch up on life.
I complain but my life is good. I have my hubby and daughter. I have all my stuff coming (Nov 29th!!!) to my house that costs me nothing and utilities that cost me nothing. My husband has a wonderful job with a guarenteed paycheck every month no matter how much or little he works. My checking account is comfortable and all our bills are paid. My family and friends are amazing. I have the best sister ever. Even my inlaws are awesome- how many people can say that right? Haha! Life is good and I need to stop complaining. The only way it would be better is to have all those that I love here experiencing this amazing journey with me! Come visit!!!
Thanks for listening. Sorry for rambling. I am sure I will be up again tonight thinking these same thoughts but it feels good for now to have some off my back--
So we woke up this morning to snow! Not a ton by any means but still snow!! It snowed all morning until about 11am. It is cold and wet out but I love it!
Now that fall has come and somewhat gone, I had to post some pictures of the view from our house. It amazes me how I sit at my kitchen table and get to look out my windows at this view everyday. It literally is gorgeous! You can see one of the two cathedrals that is downtown in the top picture. Hearing the bells from the cathedrals is probably one of my favorite parts of the day.
Here are some pictures of Hailee at the end of her first day of school at Rainbow School. She is in Mrs. Powells class and loves it! The school is really cute and close to our house. When Kim & I enrolled Hailee & Lillianna, the school officially broke the 300 mark for the amount of students. It will be dropping significantly soon though cause there are about to be a ton of people leaving here. Now that everyone is back from the deployment everyone is trying to move before Christmas break. It will be interesting to see the impact at her school cause I know Lee's company is going to drop to like 19% strength! 
The view from Colmberg Castle looking down onto the town on Colmberg.
This is Colmberg Castle up on the hill. It was foggy but that just made it look more amazing.
Hai spotted some deers while we were looking over the edge of wall of the castle.
Hai with Scarfy her bear
Lee just being himself
Outside of Rothenburg ob der tauber (Rothenburg on the river)
Walking the wall that surrounds the city.
Climbing the very steep stairs to get to the top of the wall surrounding Rothenburg
VERY steep stairs!
Gorgeous city streets. Cobblestone roads and horses everywhere
Looking down the outside of the wall around Rothenburg.
Hailee in the city square
Most beautiful colors here in fall!
So, as most of you know, I am really hard on myself when it comes to grades! I took my drivers test this week here in Germany and let me tell you it is the worst grade I have ever had!! I still passed but not by much.
Here are some of the German road signs. Obviously we all know the good old stop sign. The circle on on the right with two arrows going opposite ways, that means one has to yield to the other.
Umleitung means detour. There are a lot of those on post, so I knew that one. The Blue one that says U22 with the arrow is a detour on the autobahn.
These are all priority road signs. These show who has the right of way.
These are directional signs. It is retarded that they will have a sign telling you that you are to keep going the way you are going. The one with the arrow that says Einbahnstassa is one way. (The funny symbol at the end of the word basically means a double "s")
The sign with the fence means guarded railroad (has an arm that comes down when a train is coming)
Guess what the H sign is! No, not hospital! It means bus stop!!
Here are some more pics of that playground. I wanted you to be able to really see the magnitude of the height and how better than having Lee to compare it to! He is 6'1" and he would not even be able to touch the lowest level.
The park is across from the middle/high school. That is what they use for school buses here, they use charter buses! Hailee will ride one of those for school everyday!
They have these zipline rides at the park too and Hailee and Lillianna LOVED them. They were a good 60-70 feet long.
This is not supposed to be in the middle of this posting but oops! This handful of change eguals like 9,oo euros ($11.50 ish in American dollars!) We are so used to change not really meaning much then you see this and think wow!
