Simply the Best

In your heart I see the star of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
I could be in no better place

You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met


Such a cool feeling to be standing in the hangar with that anticipation of the doors opening. Then they tell you the bus has arrived and it will be a few minutes. Then those magic doors begin opening and you get a glimpse of a formation standing outside. Then Tina Turners "Simply the Best" begins... and in comes that formation of heroes. It brings chills to your whole body. Everyone is on their feet- there is clapping and hollaring. I looked to my right and one of the spouses who I am friends with- her eyes are tearing up. The simple touch of someones hand on her back sends her into full on tears...and while looking at the formation I can see her hubby looking all tough but his eyes still focused on his wife. It literally brought tears to my eyes. Such an amazing feeling to be a part of that.

Some people question bringing my children there. I think I was the only one who did bring my kids that wasn't expecting their spouse. Yet I think it is important to bring Hailee and explain to her that we need to be there to support those soldiers walking through that door. She is not bothered by it and she was there hooting and hollaring with the rest of us. It was neat to tell her that the next time we are there waiting on soldiers- it will include daddy! I cannot tell her a date right now cause we do not know it but he will be on the next group. That is an awesome feeling. Tonight we had a small group and what an amazing feeling in that hangar, I can only imagine next time when it is a huge group!!! It brings me back to that feeling from last deployment!!! SO exciting!

3 Hawks & a Hooker

Love the name right?? A bowling team was never something I thought I would be a part of- yet I am- and having a BLAST!!!! The 2 Hawks are Denise, Angie and myself (our hubbies fly blackhawk helicopters- Hawks) and the Hooker is Bethany( her hubby flies a chinook (aka a hooker).
Bethany got her sister to embroider these super fun pink retro bowling shirts.We have so much fun!!!
We started it with the idea that it was simply for fun and we were not in it to win. But we are in like 4th place! That is out of like 15 teams!!! Mind you- our handicap is so high that it is almost impossible to beat us. I am sure that pissed people off but honestly- we are trying out hardest out there!!
This week is Katies birthday on bowling night- Wednesday. She is our permanent sub. She even has a cool sub shirt that Bethany made! We are doing a cake and stuff for her.
It is awesome cause Crystal comes and gets the kiddos for me and takes them to her house. Then when I am done- I swing by and get them!!

Walking

So- while walking tonight I made some funny observations. Even with their shades (roullodins-spelling?) up- it always looks like no one is home. It was really starting to get dark while we were walking and I kept looking at the houses while we past by and thinking that it seemed like no one was home in any of them. Then I realized that Germans seem to use dim lighting. Even when we walked past our house- it seemed dim inside.
I also noticed how quiet it is! It was about 615 on a Saturday night. We live in a good sized neighborhood. Yet- it is SOOO quiet out. I think because it is cold- everyone is inside and getting cozy. I notice Germans like to sit around their tables and just have wine and talk. I cannot lie- I cannot wait for Lee to get home and for us to do the same. Especially now with the fabulous bench Nikkia cleaned up for me. I can see Lee & I getting all cozy with some wine.
Tonight while Carter was getting a bath- he is squatting. He leans forward and plays with his toys. Then ends up in a squatting position- if there was something to grab onto that was higher- he would have stood! Craziness!
Tomorrow is Halloween. It is also daylight savings time here- So flipping the clocks back tonight. I wanted to stay up and watch some World Series baseball but they have it playing on a delay tonight. So by the time it is on at 430am- the scores will be up anyhow. I want to see it but since it will already be on a delay- might as well catch it later in the day at a normal time.
Tomorrow is church, DFAC lunch with the Rabb family and then Fall Fest with the kiddos in their costumes and the a WELCOME HOME ceremony!! Finally the first group is coming home!!
I love going to church with the Rabbs. We sit together since a lot of the other wives are there with their hubbies. We sit in the husbandless pew. It also goes by the "winners pew" or "losers pew" depending on how the college teams do!! lol

~B

For your viewing pleasure!

I really hate that this is posting the pictures like it does when I am looking at it before I hit "post." All I see is link coding- so I cannot see the breaks between the pics...

The description of the pictures are...
-Walking to the busstop the other day- this is how I found Carter when we got there- slumped forward- fast asleep!!
-The next two pics are while on our nightly walks with L'Chelle and her boys. It is up on the hill above my house overlooking our town- Lehrberg.... you can see the Lehrberg tower in one of them. That tower is right outside our house and up the hill behind our kitchen...
-The last one is the kiddos next to our sign for daddy on the fence on post! SOOO AWESOME

Send my hubby home QUICK!

Really- they need to send my hubby home now! I am filling the gap I am feeling- with internet shopping!!!! UGH! It is awesome though to get boxes at our post office though!! Yesterday I got 8 boxes! It makes you smile!
I have to say- I spent a lot of money but everything was on major sale! I ordered new duvet covers for my King size bed and my gueen spare bed. I also got the matching decorative pillows and shams for both. Total cost= $60!!! I saved $113! Holy crap right???? I couldnt pass them up. Unfortunately- Target won't ship them to me- so I had to ship them to Pat- my fabulous mother-in-law... she always comes through for me.

I also ordered peacoats for me and Hais- Old Navy has a huge 50% off sale right now on outerwear. So I got mine for $29! A peacoat! I also got Carter a snowsuit and winter jacket, snow boots and some jeans. He also got some fleece pants. I figure I need to start getting him into more little boyish stuff- cause he is still in the Carter brand pants. They are cute but he needs more jeans.

I am almost done with Christmas shopping. I am completely done with the kiddos. I am also done with my nephews. I am almost done with my parents- need one more thing for dad. So- that leaves my sis and my inlaws.

I also ordered our London tour tickets today. I just have to call on Monday and pay for them and for the Ferry tickets to cross into England...

Feel like I have a ton I need to do for trips-

-Ireland- book a hotel for Dublin on the last night. Figure out budget for the trip- I have already reserved the rental car and B&B. Already paid for flights.

-England/Scotland- Call to pay for the Ferry and the London tour. Figure out budget.

-Cyprus- Budget

Hmmmmm... super excited about the trips- just need to finish school and some other committment. Just finished my first Welfare Request round for the Spouses Club. Done with that until January. That is one thing off my plate for now...
-Fundraiser paperwork needs to be submitted for PTA...
-Research paper for Soc 2200- due Nov 15
-Field Experience project for ECE 3110 Due Dec 1


Lots to do but it is keeping me busy and time flying for this last little bit before my man gets home!

~B

Uneventful day!

So- Friday has been pretty uneventful. I have learned to appreciate these sort of days though. I drove Hais to school and got some paperwork that I needed signed by the Principal for the PTA. Then I ran downtown and had some coffee before hitting up H&M for a little shopping. Gosh- there was like 100 things I could have bought!! Instead I just got one thing- the cutest little dress shirt and vest for Carter for daddys welcome home. I really wanted to get snow stuff for him and some adorable hats for Hais... but they do not need them:)
I came home with the intention of going back out later but honestly- now that I am cozy in my house- do not see that happening. I have a box on post and also need to go grocery shopping. But I will probably wait until later to do that. Maybe on Tuesday...
For those that have not had to deal with deployments- you have no idea how hard the end is. You would think the end is the easiest- after all- they are almost home. Instead- it is HARD. It is like my body knows it is almost over- so it is in shutdown mode. I am tired and worn out. I am physically and emotionally drained. Then to add to the difficulties- there is no internet contact right now with Lee. His internet is shut off now. So- wishing for a phone call but I know he is crazy busy right now. We are getting close but there is a part of me wishing I could close my eyes and go to sleep! Sleep the next little while off- so I could wake up to him being home. I am super excited!!!
One big piece of news- I am officially down a pant size. That is exciting cause I have not seen big numbers of the weight loss journey- which can be a little defeating. But everyone keeps saying I must be losing inches. Well- it is official. I am down to a lower size than before I was pregnant!! Yeah! I wore a pair of skinny jeans last week to a dinner- they were the new size. But they were super stretchy- so I felt like I was cheating when I counted the size. But I had ordered a pair of trouser pants for the welcome home in the new size- they are not stretchy. When I put them on- it was amazing! They fit and comfortably!!!SOO exciting!!!
Well- on to getting some homework done while lil man is sleeping- before Hais is home!

~B

Fun

I had to repost this from Sept of 2008. SOOO fun! I also altered a few things:)
1. I have gone to 5 different colleges in 3 different states!
2. I always thought I wanted only 2 kids and now I am set on having 3
3. I had Hailee on Thanksgiving Day in 2002.
4. Lee and I were married less than 4 months after we met
5. I have no living Grandparents. I was only 21 when the last one died.
6. I got caught once cutting a corner on the way home and I pulled my car in someones driveway when the cop turned around to pull me over.
7. I CANNOT stand people with bad eating habits. Chew with your mouth shut and quit slamming the silverware against the plate!!!
8. When I was a teenager I had a weird shaving ritual. Once I was done shaving I would have to put on tall socks and pull them up to my knees.
9. I have to constantly put lotion on in order to fold clothes! Cannot stand to touch certain materials! I am weird, I know
10. I barely sleep.(I SLEEP WONDERFULLY NOW)
11. I have an AMAZING relationship with my sister. She is my hero
12. I lettered in softball all four years of high school.
13. I carried a ceramic heart made for me in high school as a lucky charm for a long time
14. I was voted "Totally Tan" in the Senior vote
15. I dye my hair about 4 shades darker brown than it actually is
16. I thought my eyes were brown until about 3 years ago, when I found out they were green.
17. My sister and I have star tattoos on our feet that have a special meaning
18. I went to Prom all four years of high school
19. I dated the Principals son for over a year in high school
20. I have an addiction to scarves, lotion, flip flops and purses
21. I take everything personally. If you are in a bad mood and not in the mood to talk, I will think that I did something to make you mad (STILL DO)
22. The scariest thing about moving to Germany... only 9 tv channels and only one is Prime Time! (I HAVE ADAPTED)
23. I could live on Tomato Basil Soup!
24. I believe in ghosts.
25. I hate driving automatics, prefer a stickshift
26. I have a huge desire to wear red lipstick but not the guts to do it!
27. I call my mom and dad everyday
28. I love the show Kings of Queens
29. I have over 700 movies
30. I have awesome family- including my in laws
31. I still think my husband is sexy, eight years later! (10 YEARS NOW)
32. I am a list maker! A list for everything!
33. I burnt for the first time ever in my life while 5 months pregnant in Hawaii
34. I desperately want to learn how to sew but get frustrated really easy when I try
35. I stress out about grades. I have had A’s in every single class I have taken in college. (GOT MY FIRST B TWO SEMESTERS AGO WHILE PREGGO-)
36. I love cuddling with Hailee (AND CARTER)
37. I have never had braces but have really straight teeth
38. I had season passes growing up to Sierra Ski Resort
39. I love to run, even though I do not do it enough anymore
40. I love the number 14
41. I take great pictures but not as good as my sis in law Andria!
42. I want to be a girly girl but usually end up in jeans and a tee(MUCH MORE GIRLY)
43. I am excited to go to Germany but dreading the long flight(DONE THAT FLIGHT 9 TIMES NOW)
44. Mexican is my favorite food (AND I MISS IT)
45. I cannot do schoolwork if the room I am in is cluttered and messy.
46. I prefer to sleep with the TV on (TV HAS TO BE OFF NOW)
47. I am looking forward to being able to sleep with the window open when we are in Germany (LOVE MY WINDOWS- THEY HAVE BLACKOUT ROLLDOWN METAL BLINDS)
48. I freak out if someone chases me (even playing around chasing!)
49. I adore when my husband plays with my hair.
50. If I want to fall asleep, I ask my husband to pick out a movie and we lay down. I always fall asleep to his movies!
51. My first job was as a coffee barista at Sweetie Pies
52. I love long necklaces.
53. I worked in the toddler room last year at Hailees daycare. I only lasted 1 month!!
54. I have subscriptions to 8 magazines!
55. I love the tv show Intervention (ONLY 5 NOW)
56. I prefer winter to summer (THANK GOODNESS-CAUSE WINTER HERE IS LIKE 7 MONTHS OF THE YEAR)
57. I wish I could get my bangs to do that side sweep look consistently!
58. I joined the Army when I was 20 and spent 4 years in
59. I do not know what my favorite color is! (RED)
60. I was sort of a bitch in high school and now regret it
61. I love California but will never move back
62. I love watching my husband play soccer
63. I carry big purses but barely anything in them (THEY ARE FILLED NOW- THEY DOUBLE AS A DIAPER BAG)
64. I like the feeling of tweezing my eyebrows
65. I am SUPER protective of my kiddo
66. I am SUPER protective of my sister
67. I have had laser hair removal
68. Not a huge beach fan, rather go to the mountains
69. Have lived in California, South Carolina, Texas, North Carolina(twice), Washington and Alabama
70. Will be living in Ansbach Germany for the next 3-4 years (NOW WILL BE HERE 6 YEARS)
71. Just got my first ever passport
72. Born and raised in California, did not go to Disneyland until I was 23! (Spent every summer playing softball)
73. Have a scar on the back of my left thigh from sliding into a base in practice on a horrible field
74. When I am tense, I clench my jaw and cannot relax it
75. I love sending cards to friends for no reason at all
76. I remember birthdays/anniversaries of everyone. But the last year I have been too overwhelmed to send anything!
77. I hate getting flowers cause it makes me sad when they die
78. My lettermans jacket was stolen from a party and my parents had to buy a second one! Thanks mom and dad!
79. I always dated dark haired tan guys. But I married a blonde!
80. My parents are still married after 35 years! My inlaws are still married too after 36years!
81. I want to play the guitar but do not want to cut my nails to be better at it!
82. I have 2 friends who are my BESTEST and no one compares.
83. I love heels
84. I am always early and hate when people are late
85. I always drive cause I back seat drive when Lee is at the wheel
86. I have never had a speeding ticket (STILL NO SPEEDING TICKET- BUT DID GET ONE FOR BEING ON MY PHONE)
87. There are pictures all over my house
88. I am really particular about how chicken is cooked. If I even think there is any pink at all, then there is no way I will eat it.
89. I want to be Martha Stewart but I am NO Martha.
90. I have no idea how to use spices when cooking!
91. I love Starbucks Venti Cinnamin Dolce Lattes
92. I LOVED being pregnant both times
93. I could barely move after playing the Wii Sports game the first time
94. I love golfing but my boobs are too big to swing properly!
95. Cannot wait to get a boob reduction and then implants. I want the girls to be perky!
96. I love my husband’s laugh and the way he looks at me when we stand in the kitchen and cook together
97. I am a very emotional person (AMEN)
98. I love my BFF Ande, Holly, Am and Kim
99. My sister is my true bestest friend
100. I am always ready for an adventure

Back to reality tomorrow!

So- I have pretty much hid out for the last few days. I went to the clinic today and walked tonight with L'Chelle. But other than L'Chelle and Melissa (my neighbor) I have avoided everyone. While I admit I have been in a funk- I have hid out more because I needed a break. It seems to work.
But tomorrow is back to reality. Tomorrow I am off to the school to do some work for Hailees class, finish up the Canned Food Drive stuff and help with box tops. If you have kiddos- you know what those are. Then I need to run on post and grab a box that is waiting for me at the mailroom. *Cross your fingers* Hope the box is from Old Navy cause I want my welcome home outfit!! I ordered it a few weeks ago.
The first returning group arrives tomorrow night at 2am!! Early early but of course I am going cause it is a big deal! They are officially the first to arrive back! How awesome!! Lee should be just over a week away!
Hais is going to stay with Crystal tomorrow night- so she is not interrupted when we have to leave for the hangar at 130 in the morning.
I have enjoyed my time home this week but ready to get back into action cause then time goes faster!!!




PS- I wanted to show you the link to this blog that I adore. I ran into her profile cause her little girl Ryann had the same due date as Carter- she is so fun! I love her style and wittiness:) Try out her blog- you might find yourself as addicted as I am!

Lil man & Petshops

He's a boy- he's playing with Petshops. He is destroying them and eating them! lol. Such a boy!!! It was like 2 seconds and he had pieces removed that should not be removed! He was banging them on each other. He had them in his mouth...

Beware- He will destroy your PetShops!

6 Month Checkup and Shots

So- little mister has his checkup back on Oct 18. We could not get his shots that day cause immunizations were on lunch. I tried 2 more times the following week- only to hit them when they were closed! Ugh.
So- we went in first thing this morning. He got 4 shots and 1 oral medication. He would have only had 3 shots but I opted to get him the flu shot since he is in a daycare twice a week with PWOC and Church. Plus- big sissy goes to school and brings stuff home with her:)
He was a CHAMP!. He did not cry at all until after the last shot. With the first 3- he did not even whimper! Seriously! And he finished crying after like 2 milliseconds. Made me laugh cause Hais would have been crying before we even would have walked in! He is now playing happily on the floor- crawling around. He is so hilarious!
This should be our last weekend without daddy. Keep your fingers crossed that nothing shifts. It is great to think this may be our weekend without being complete!!! Cannot wait for those hangar doors to open!
I have been sort of a recluse this week. Other than going to the busstop- I did not leave my house at all on Tuesday or Wednesday. I walked to the busstop in the morning and afternoon- and then we did nice long evening walks after dinner. Today I had to leave cause lil man NEEDED his shots and I also had to drop off the can food drive cans. Tonight I will do another walk.
Our evening walks make me so happy! There is that awful time between dinner and when I put lil man down for the night. He is soooo tired right about 545-6 but I do not want to put him down that early. So- we have been walking from like 6-6:35 each night. Lil man usually falls asleep after about 15 minutes but it is such a great time for me and Hais to talk and be with each other. Plus it gets more miles in for me!! It is perfect timing too, cause when we get home, I get lil man his last bottle and down he goes for the night. I CANNOT wait for Lee to get home and our entire family to walk. I know Lee will love it too. Plus- then we can take Bane. I cannot handle Bane too at night- so he will get to go when we have an extra set of hands...
I included pics of last nights walk. In the top one- you can barely see Hais and Anna (our neighbor) who walked with us. But the sunset was awesome!

~B

Blogspot driving me crazy!

So- I really wanted to post the previous posting and comment all about the pictures but blogspot apparently hates me tonight and is posting the photos with just the garble-e-goop craziness. So I cannot tell where the separation is in the picture links- so therefor- no comments could be added.

This was Car's first year of carving pumpkins. Clearly he did no carving! We did provide him the bowl of goop for him to play with and he was a little unsure. It was funny to watch him. He did not hate it- just sorta so-so! I love the one picture that you can see him looking up at Hai's- like he is saying "Sissy- whatcha doing??"

Hais is such an amazing sister and I love watching them interacting!
Enjoy!

~B

Pumpkins!

Old German man

So- there is this old German man who walks through the neighborhood everyday. I do not mean a morning walk- I mean - walks ALLDAYLONG! He literally walks all day. I imagine he goes home to potty and grab some food- but I see him walking at all times of the day. He is always wearing the same outfit. He is pleasant- I have passed him sometimes when we are out walking and he says guten morgen. I just think it is funny!

~B

Blessings

Last night I found myself laying in bed and being upset. I usually can hide my hurt behind humor and a smile. Yet these last few weeks it has become tougher. I do not want it to seem like I am saying poor me- cause I am not. I know for a fact that many of my friends here- at the end of this LONG deployment are feeling just like I am...but I can only speak for myself:)

So- while all these negative yucky thoughts were in my mind- I made a choice. I made a choice to think of all the positive things that I have. I made a choice of thinking of the things that make me smile. Some may be obvious- while others may seem strange- they all make me smile... so here is what I doodled:)

*hailee*carter*10 yrs of marriage*daily walks* georgeann*cyprus*my house* dancing with brooms*B&B*scotland*katie*my parents* skinny jeans*rain boots* sheshe* another safe return*mahany's*england*blogging*church*ireland*walking with l'chelle*colored pens*graduation*hangar doors opening*3 hawks & a hooker*holls-amber-ande (in no particular order)*the band LIVE*softball*yankee fall scented candles*wisconsin*momma bears (patti)*diet coke*cucumber on my sandwiches*winter*snow*brothers&sisters (the show)*evening time*making hais lunch*nap time for lil man*paying off bills!

There are clearly many more things that make me smile but these are just a few! I think that concentrating on the positive and realizing how truly blessed I am... makes all the difference in the world

So long to Facebook- back to blogging

I have been a social media junkie for the last 3-4 years. It all started with Myspace. I loved that site. It got me through the last deployment. Being able to change my background and profile songs made life a little easier. Gosh that is silly! But true. Then Facebook came around. I have been on that bandwagon for the last 2 years or so. At first it was fun to see everyones statuses. The fact that you can see what your friends across the world are doing is awesome.
Yet- it has become an unhealthy place for me. Friendships have changed. I found myself logging onto FB and seeing status updates or messages between my friends- that would just hurt my feelings. Finding out that your "good friends" are doing things and you are not invited sucks- but finding out on FB is even worse. Slowly seeing yourself replaced in someones life- sucks. But I have learned who my true friends are! That is FOR SURE! I deleted my FB account and my "good friends" haven't even noticed. Or if they have- haven't questioned it at all. Yet some of the most unexpected people in my life have not only noticed- but contacted me to check to see if everything is ok. That was an eye opener. A painful eye opener, but really a necessary one.

It seems like the friends I thought I could count on have sort of checked out this year. While that is hurtful- it is something that I needed to know. They clearly were not as good of friends as I thought.

When you are an Army family and constantly moving, friends are made fast. Some of long time ones but those are rare. We still have contact with some from flight school and those are the ones that I cherish. There are days like today that I think about how much I would love to go home and be around the friends that have known me forever. The friends that have been there even when we havent talked for months or had fallouts. We always recover. In the Army, it seems like people will write you off for the littlest thing. But it is devastating none the less cause you are so limited. I feel like I have a ton of friends here. Yet today when I wanted to cry to someone- there was no one to call.
Ugh

So- like I said- I deleted my FB account. I wanted to reinstate another one and make it only for friends from home and my family. Then I could bypass the drama here. I started to set that up. Then my sis had the brilliant idea- I should just return to blogging. Then I can control who sees my blog and my family still gets pictures. So- best of both worlds. I control what is on here. I can log in and provide the updates and pics I want to. And I avoid being hurt and upset by the stuff I cannot control- cause it isn't in my face! I know that might sound silly but my family is my life and I am done feeling controlled by a FB account!!

Back to blogging- which I loved anyways and have neglected for too long!

B

Carters arrival

Carter Adam Kokoszka

April 9, 2010

4:56pm

Ansbach Klinikum, Ansbach Germany

8lbs 6oz

23.5 inches

I went to my appt on Thursday April 8. I had been having daily blood pressure checks cause I was having issues with my blood pressure. After talking to my doctor, we decided to have me induced on Friday the 9th of April- which was the day before Carters due date. He told me to report to the klinikum at 9 am. I went home and messaged Lee to let him know- his lil man would be with us the next day!

Since Lee was deployed- my mother in law was here for 5 weeks to help with Hais when I went in to have the baby. Kim came to pick me up at 8:15 in the morning and we headed off to the hospital (which is only like 8-10 minutes away). We got to the hospital to discover that I left my mothers pass (the record of all things pregnancy) at home and we had to rush home and grab it. They required it to check into the hospital. We got to the hospital right about 9am.
They got me all checked in and set up in a labor room. Tina came around 9:30ish. We were in the room and having a ball. My midwife was named Barbara. She was FANTASTIC. Tina, Kim and I were being totally silly and Barb hung right with us. She gave me the first "magic pill" at about 11am. We all made bets about what time we thought lil man would arrive. Kim said 3 pm, Tina said 5pm, I said 6pm and Barbara said 11pm. Clearly we were all hoping for anytime but Barbs guess!!!

I was not really having contractions and sitting in the room was getting sort of boring- even though we were having a blast. So, Barb let us go for a walk. We went outside about 2 and walked around. We sat on some benches and chatted for awhile. Then we went back inside and sat in the little cafe in the lobby of the hospital. I had an apple strudel. It dawned on me how much German hospitals are different than American ones. The American hospital would not let me eat at all while being induced and that one lasted 27 hours! Here I was in a German hospital and eating Apple Strudel and ice cream!

Barb made us promise to be back upstairs at 3. So we trucked back up there. When we got up there- Barb gave me another pill since my contractions were barely noticable. She gave me the pill about 3:30. I started messaging with Lee on my phone at about 3:45. At about 4:30 the contractions were getting pretty fierce. I remember telling Lee that I had to go cause they were getting uncomfortable. He said he would go eat dinner since he figured we had awhile.

This is where is gets a little blurry. The contractions started to be pretty bad. They were also pretty close together. We told Barb and she said she would be right back cause she had to check on another patient. She later told us that she thought I still had awhile and she would check in later. Well- in the span of like 10 minutes- it all went to hell!! I could not relax, and the girls told me I was literally bouncing around the room. I do remember kneeling on the bed, on the recliner, standing at the end of the bed, against the bedside table...

Kim was running out into the hall looking for anyone! She finally got Barb and in they came. By this point I was in full on panic mode! She checked me and I was 8. I had decided against an epidural and at this point was pretty sure I had made a really bad choice!! lol Barb broke my water and it all started! There was no time to move me into a delivery room, I was having the baby right there on a regular bed.

It happened fast. I remember telling Kim I was going to die! I remember telling Tina to shut off the iPod function on the iPhone cause I couldnt listen to music anymore. I remember seeing T with her back to me furiously trying to shut it off! lol I also remember feeling like I could not breathe and needed air. I told Tina to open the window- she did and a rush of cold air came in. Barb told her to shut the window cause it was too cold for the baby! Poor T! I also remember telling Kim to stop cheerleading! lol It happened so fast. We started pushing at 4:45 and lil man was there at 4:56 (T was only 4 minutes off her guess of C's arrival!!!)

I remember after having him- looking at him and he wasn't crying! I kept saying to Kim- he isn't crying friend- he isn't crying... it ws a horrible feeling. He finally cried. They wrapped him up and took him away to clean up etc. I am not sure of his APGAR etc. I also did not get to see him weighed and cleaned- which stinks. I had the two most amazing women there though who went with my son to ensure that someone was with him and taking those important pictures. He wasn't alone. I also had T at this point, message Lee with the "you have a son now" message. I felt bad for him. He hated that he had no clue that it happened.

They brought lil man back to me to hold for a few minutes before they took him to be under the heating lamp to warm him up. I held him and loved on him for a minute but honestly- I was so tired and worn out from the delivery that I had to pass him off to T. They took him to the warmer for 2 hours. The delivery had been a lot of stress on him cause it happened SOOO fast.

The girls headed home finally- Kim went to our house to pick up Lillianna who was with Hais and Pat for the day. She also shared pictures with Pat. I called my mom, sis and bestie Ande to tell them the good news. We sent pics to Lee through email. It was an amazing day. An amazing day that gave me an amazing son. We spent Friday and Saturday night in the hospital. The day I brought lil man home, there was snow- rain- and sunshine. It was perfect!

Amazing amazing Blog!!!!

http://milasdaydreams.blogspot.com/

10 month hiatus?

Ok- so it has been 10 months since my last blog... can that be considered a hiatus? Someone once told me that when you are behind on something you should just start from where you are and not worry so much about trying to catch up- or you will be overwhelmed. I could write 10-15 long blogs about all the major events that have happened in the last 10 months but really? That would take forever!

How could I possibly play catchup without mentioning that the fact that we have a new little man! See above... :)

He joined up April 9. I will do an entire separate blog about his birth and his life up to now- a big whopping 6 months!!!

I want to do an update about life...surviving another deployment... travels... our future---

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