Pathology Report

Met with my surgeon yesterday. Out of the 34 lymph nodes  removed... 20 were positive for papillary thyroid cancer. That seems awful but let me give you the positive.

- they were all papillary thyroid cancer. A lot of people seem to have more than one type of thyroid cancer found... With as much as I had, I was nervous there would be another type in there. Papillary is the best to have... Easiest to treat

- not all were positive! I am grateful for that!

- they were all small. That's awesome!

- the last round of radiation seemed to work. There was far less in the scan than there was in September. So, if anything is left now, this next round should work.


My surgeon is scheduling some blood work. I have another scan in a week or so. Then I will meet with my endocrinologist mid January. Then we will schedule my radiation. He may not have got it all... Fact of life. Hopefully thoug, the radiation will deal with whatever is hiding!

Merry Christmas to All...

Sending Holiday Wishes to you all. This year has been a rough year and I really want to it to end... So that I can start fresh in 2013....

 

I have gotten through this year thanks to a few KEY things...

 

-Family-Friends-Distractions- and most importantly HUMOR. This picture from last Christmas makes me laugh... and laughs have been vital this last 6 months.

 

I wish you all the healthiest, happiest 2013. Please keep me in your prayers for a medically boring 2013!!

 

~Brenna

Post Surgery Photos!

 So- here are Lee and I just prior to them bringing me back into the operating room. I was not nervous until they wheeled me into the operating room and I had to move over to that operating table. That is when it really hits you that this is happening. That when I wake up- my life will be forever different!

Lee and my mom kept me pretty cheery up until the last second. Luckily, when I started to get super nervous- is when anesthesia took over- so that helped...

 Here was my bling. I was loaded up. I had my bracelet incase I needed a blood transfusion. Luckily I didn't. I lost some blood but not enough to warrant a transfusion! I also had my ID bracelet. My third fancy bracelet was the one showing I have no allergies. I also was able to wear my Thyroid Cancer Bracelet in. When I got into the operating room- they just attached it to my bed. So- all those rocking these bracelets around the world- I was rocking it too!! The picture on the right is a picture Ande sent me of her wearing the bracelet and holding her coffee cup that I have a matching one of!

I look lovely right? This is just when I woke up. My coloring is obviously awful from being in surgery but it doesn't help that I have Betadine up to my mouth!! So- that explains some of the orange coloring you see!

My surgery was supposed to start at 10:30. Lee said it was about 11:15 when they started and even though it was supposed to be done in 2 hours- it was just over three hours long. The Dr said it was because he was being super careful to move each nerve. He did an awesome job! I have no issues with my shoulders- which is awesome cause a lot of people do!  When I woke up in my room... this is what I saw!! I had a private room with an AMAZING view of Pikes Peak/Garden of the Gods/ downtown Colorado Springs! BEAUTIFUL!

I felt amazing. Honestly, the only issue I had was the sore throat from intubation! It hurt a good bit but I had no idea how I would wish for that being my only complaint... This picture is from the first morning I woke up after surgery. You can see the two drains and the surgical wound. I had over 100 stitches and then it was glued over.  Pretty freaky looking!

This is the view out of that same window.  We had an awesome snow storm the day after surgery. It was gorgeous. A nice view to relax too!

I did a lot of walking that first day. It felt good to be up and moving!!

 

 

So- day two- this is what I woke up to. Clearly not the most flattering picture. I had swollen up to the point that I felt like I was choking and couldnt swallow or breathe. I could do both. It was totally a mental thing because of the tightness I felt.  I was supposed to go home that morning but they called in the Dr and he came and checked me out. He was very soothing regarding my stress over the situation. He assured me that it would eventually go away.  It may take weeks/months for it to be completely gone...

I went home on Friday (surgery was Tuesday).  This is me on Saturday. Still super swollen! It has come and gone all day. I notice it is worse after I get up from sleeping. I ended up sleeping on the recliner because it is easier to keep me in the 45 degree angle they want me at.  I have taken a few Vicodins... to help with the pain/panic that comes when the swelling is really bad. I have to tell myself at moments that "Brenna, you can breathe!"
Lee and I took C to the park this morning for awhile. I stayed on my feet for a good chunk of the day- which will help with the drainage and the swelling. The swelling is due to several reasons... the major trauma of the surgery for one. Second- the Dr basically stripped the lymph system there which is making my body figure out where to drain now! It will take awhile- but it will figure it out.

Going to leave you with this- My friend sent it to me! Makes total sense and makes me smile honestly!!

Surgery,done!

Had my surgery yesterday. It went about an hour longer than planned. Took three hours to remove about 60 lymph nodes. Luckily they weren't too big but they were taken just because of the aggression of my type of Papillary thyroid cancer. He glued the wound shut. I literally have a smiley face from ear to ear... It is crazy!

I am in no pain. I have taken two vicodins to help with the sore throat from the intubation. I am numb from mid cheekbone to clavicle, probably a good thing:)  The doctor told my mom ad hubby that the surgery went really well... 

Today is a blizzard. Hais school as cancelled. So not sure when Lee will come in cause the storm is soo ugly! I got my own room and they said I can see Pikes Peak/Garden of the Gods... Unfortunately with this Storm, I cannot see much at all! But I am loving the quiet time!

Still have two big drains in to help drain fluid from my neck and also a foley catheter  that should be pulled soon cause I am ready to get up.  I am ready to get out of bed!  What stinks too...hubby has my suitcase and was going to bring it this am...with fresh clothes, toothbrush and a hair tie! Lol

Judged

I am SO tired of being judged. I feel like lately- everyone gets an opinion on my life.

For example-

-I am not done trying for kids. Will I have more? Not sure. We have been using fertility treatments for years, that is how we got Carter. That is what led to the last pregnancy. We cannot justify spending anymore on it. So now, my hope is that the removal of the cancer and the non functioning thyroid will regulate me. There are a lot of "if's" to this equation. Yet I want to keep trying. I feel like when I have told some people- they raise their eyebrows and tell me that I seem overwhelmed with the two I have. Seriously?? You're right. I am TOTALLY overwhelmed. Are my kiddos a part of that? Yes.  I have been through a lot this last year. I had a husband deploy. A miscarriage. A cancer diagnosis. Going onto my second surgery. Radiation. A PCS in a month from overseas. I am also trying to find the right dosage to replace normal thyroid function. Thyroid controls your emotions, moods etc... Of course I am overwhelmed!  Do I think that I am not able to handle one more kiddo? No.

-How I clean my house. What time I go to bed. What jobs I want to apply to. Whether I should go back to school.

Seems like everyone has an opinion lately. I have had a lot of people brought into our daily function as a family since this diagnosis. We totally welcome the help. Apparently, with the help comes their opinions. I do not think that anyone realizes that I have not had my house to myself since mid August!! Nearly four months! 

I am a self sufficient person.  I enjoy my quiet time.  I have lost that! I like to have the house to myself for a little bit each day. I have lost that. Do not get me wrong- I adore my family. Yet, I long for the days when my husband went to work, Hais went to school and C went to daycare. I had my time. To play my music. To watch television. To clean in peace! Those days are gone. I miss them.

I really do not want to seem ungrateful. I am not. I feel blessed that we have had a steady stream of people who love us who are able to come in and help out. It has made it so much easier on the days when I am struggling and need a break. 

I guess my complaint in more about life right now.  I want my old life back. There is nothing like big change to make you realize what is really happening in life. Having people around constantly and needing that help just makes you realize that parts of you are gone. I am longing for 2012 to end. Desperate for it to end. It has sucked.

2013 is my year. I will not only kick Cancers Ass (sorry for the language) but I will refind myself. This is it people... This is it!

Looking for the light

Today was one of those days. I struggled. I was bitchy. I was emotional. I cried. I snapped at people. I would love to blame this or that. I would love to pinpoint one thing. Honestly, think it is a combo of things. I woke up this morning to an announcement on Facebook from a Facebook friend that she is preggo. Mind you- she is like 2 weeks preggo. She just had RnR with her hubby and is barely preggo. I am honestly happy for her, deep down. Yet my gutteral reaction is pissiness. How dare her be preggo. And that easy? I am just bitter. Bitter cause of the cancer issue but moreso because of the 6 negative fertility rounds and the eventual miscarriage at nearly 12 weeks. Bitter because I want another baby and I am not sure it is ever in my cards.

I want to be back to the carefree fun B. I am tired of the ups and downs. Yet I know that is a reality of my life now. There is always going to be a struggle to get the right medication dose and unfortunately that dose controls my thyroid function and therefor my mood....

Onto some tid bits from lately...

-Got on the treadmill the other day for the first time in months... Probably since June of this year. I am struggling with the altitude here. Plus the weight I have gained from the stress, medications, American food... lol... Took me 28 minutes to do a mile and a half. Definitely a long way from this time last year when I ran 7.8 miles!! Yet I have to start somewhere!!

- I registered for the Color Run in Sacramento August 3, 2013 with my bestie! I am sooo excited. I am determined to do at least 3-4 runs this year. No specific distances in mind... just back to running. I love what it did to my body.  I am also signing up for Weight Watchers Feb 1! I have to wait for this next round of Radiation to be done since I have to go on that special Low Iodine Diet two weeks prior.

- We got a new car!! Well, actually a van. A Toyota Sienna. Our van was only 2 1/2 yrs old but we were having constant issues with our brakes and did not like the warranty service they provided. So happy with our purchase!

-My momma arrives this coming Sunday to be here for the surgery. My mother in law has been here since the beginning of the month. Oh- having the Neck Dissection done next Tuesday the 18th.  7-8 inches of new scar across my neck. We had a CT/PET scan done and the results were awesome. I still have cancerous nodes in there but they are not as big or as many as we thought... which means the last round of Radiation worked some... So this surgery should eliminate enough that the Radiation will eliminate the rest.

-I found a program I am going to apply to. It is an accelerated 14 month BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing). I would start May 2014 and finish August 2015.  Awesome! Just missed the darn application period for this coming May. I do have a few classes I need to do as pre-req's though...

-We got our first real good snow! There are still patches of snow/ice on the road in our neighborhood.

 -Found this letter Hais had written to Santa.  Breaks my heart and makes me proud as well!

 -Had Hais 10th birthday party last weekend. It was Cake Boss theme. They each made their own apron. Then decorated their own 6 inch premade cake. We rounded it out with making their own pizzas. We had a ball. Lee and my mother in law took Carter out for a few hours to make it a little less chaotic. It was actually easy having a sleepover with that age girls!

-Our house is all put together. Everything is all unpacked. The pictures are now on the walls! Feels so much better to know I will come home to my stuff/bed etc after surgery!

-

MAD

Now that things are scheduled (surgery will be December 18th)... I am not afraid anymore. Now, I am mad. Pissed actually.  I have been cheated out of the last ten years. I have struggled to lose weight. I have dieted, worked out, been told (by friends/families/doctors) to get my weight/diet under control, struggled with fertility, been tired, irritable...

I now know that most of it wasn't my fault at all! I had not only an under active thyroid- but a cancerous one.

Now- I am mad. I am mad. I am mad. Not only do I have to worry about cancer for the rest of my life but I get to do it with a 7-8 inch scar in the shape of a smiley face across my neck. It is right there- dead center. I won't be able to hide it. I won't be able to act like nothing happened. I will have to wear scarves for awhile just to not have people stare.

I get to be a cancer survivor. While I am grateful for that second word... I am not grateful for the first. Everyone thinks that this is the "good" cancer. Sort of ironic to me. To combine those two words. While it is totally survivable- it is awful. I will forever struggle with finding the right dose of medications to balance what my thyroid should be doing. I will be scanned and blood tested several times a year. I will have to do physical therapy most likely to regain strength in my arms etc. Just overwhelmed.

I am tired. I am sick. I had to take Hais to school today cause Lee had the car.  That meant a three mile round trip bike ride in 30 degrees this morning. I had to ride Lee's bike cause my tire is flat. His bike it too big, and the handlebars are off for me. Plus pulling a 32 lb kiddo at 6500 elevation is rough- especially for a momma who has not been super active in the last few months. Then this afternoon- C and I walked to get her- so another three miles!

Enough complaining. I am tired and sick. At least we have reinforcements coming soon. Pat and Ed (inlaws) will be here this weekend with our van. TWO cars again! YAY! Ed will stay a week and Pat for a few weeks. My mother is flying in Dec 16-26 to help out while I have surgery.  She is going to stay at the hospital with me...

BTW- our household goods arrive in two days. They were not slotted to be here until Jan 9! This will make time go fast- having something to do for the next few weeks- unpacking 12 crates (12,460 lbs) of house stuff and figuring out where the heck to put it! lol

Another update

This is one of those postings that I have been wanting to write. I hate updating people on Facebook because there is not adequate time or space to really tell them what is happening. But to sit down and type it is tough.

Cancer has consumed me for three months. It has been what I wake up to... having to take a pill to not only replace the function of the part of my body I am forever missing but also to keep the cancer at bay until it can be surgically removed. I have to have those pills in my body first thing in the am. Then I have to wait 30 minutes to an hour to eat/drink anything- so that the pills absorb correctly.
When I have to lay down on the couch in the middle of the morning cause I am exhausted- I blame cancer. When I look at my children- I think of cancer. I think of the things/time/experience's that it can rob from me.

It is a weird thing. One moment I am totally overwhelmed. I cannot think of anything else. I cannot escape this incredible fear. Then I can flip to the fact that I have a long future.

Sure... my future includes surgeries. Radiation. Scans and blood tests ever few months. The thing about thyroid Cancer is that it is highly treatable. I will die from something else. What people do not talk about though- the quality of life for those diagnosed is usually poorer. I will forever be dependent on medication. I will struggle to find the right dose. And even with a good dose- may never again feel completely right. I will forever worry about it reoccurring.

Anyhow--- I must get onto what has been happening.

We arrived Oct 24.  I was at the doctors on the 25th and enrolled in Tricare. I was seeing my new doctor on the 26th. She put in the referrals that I need... Endocrinology, ENT and General Surgery. I had the approvals on the 29th of October.

I have an appointment tomorrow with ENT (November 20). I am not sure why I am seeing them but I will update you afterwards.

I saw the General Surgeon last week . He was a SUPER great guy. He listened to my story and within a few minutes basically said he is not comfortable performing this surgery. He said he would "grease the wheels for me." He left the room for a few minutes. When he came back- he told me he had contacted the best Head/Neck surgeon int he area... Dr. Joel Ernster. If you google him- he looks sorta like the Mad Hatter (lol). The funny thing is- I had asked my sister the day before for any recommendations. She was a surgical tech here in town at Penrose Hospital for a year. She told me the TOP choice would be Ernster. So how serendipitous that the next day- that is who I am referred to.

I cried. The thought of not getting something scheduled that day was heartbreaking. Yet when I heard the name of who he was sending me to- it was amazing. I then had to call my doctor on post AGAIN. I was on hold four times for a total of 25 minutes. Finally got ahold of someone and they put the referral in. I waited all weekend for the update on the Tricare website. Finally it appeared on the site today.

It was wrong. The doctor had put in the name of the referral but had classified it as General Surgery instead of specialist. So I was refereed to ANOTHER general surgeon. I lost it. I called 5 different people. Got the run around. At one point- after being frustrated from a  conversation with the patient advocate- I walked back inside the house and literally fell to the floor. I just sobbed. I buried my face in my hands and cried. My amazing husband came to my side and just held me. He let me cry and yell my frustrations out.

I finally got ahold of an amazing woman named Mary. She not only talked to me with care but she got on the case. She got it all straightened out. She even gave me the number to call her back with any issues- instead of me having to be sent through a bunch of channels which are maddening!

The referral was in the system a few hours later. I was able to call and get an appointment with the right doctor. He is out of the office the rest of the week due to Thanksgiving. But I have an appointment first thing next Monday morning at 8am!! YES!

Now the trick is- not spending the next 6 days obsessing over the size of the lymph node that I can feel on the right side of my neck. I am constantly feeling my neck to see if I can feel anymore. I know I am seeing the best surgeon around in a week and in a matter of weeks we can move along in this process.

It is crazy to me. I want to rush this process cause I want cancer out of my body asap. Yet with that process also brings an extremely scary surgery. A surgery that will leave me with a permanently scarred neck. A half moon shaped scar from ear to ear. Yet- it is worth it- to get some of this cancer out.  It won't be all gone. I still need a round of radiation a month after surgery. Hopefully that will do it!

The funny thing is... I have SOOO many questions. After this surgery- I need radiation. Who actually schedules that?? Is it my surgeon? Is it my PCM? My endocrinologist? I cannot even see my endo until the end of January.

On a side note- I dropped Lee off at the airport this afternoon. He is in Texas. Our civic is in Houston and we are waiting on customs to clear it. Hopefully it will be cleared tomorrow and he will go get it tomorrow or Wednesday. Finally we will have our own car back and no more rentals!! Hoping he will be back by Thanksgiving!!

Enough rambling tonight. I am tired and need to go to sleep. Early morning with the kiddos and an appointment on post.

On a side note- I finally have Scentsy burning in my house again- after nearly a month and a half without it! Woohoo!!

Highlights from the last two months...

Just some key highlights to the last two months!

A trip to the Colorado Springs Zoo for Halloween!

Facetiming with dear friends...

Hais rocking her new school gear- Woodmen Hills Tornadoes!

Our first Sunday paper ads in our new home!

 

A quick trip to California and some MUCH NEEDED best friend time!

 

An adult double date! Long overdue. She introduced me to Bloody Marys!

Wine tasting- The Koko's and The Freehill's!

New Home-

We are moved in and getting settled...

Just waiting on our big shipment of household goods to arrive so that we can really make it our home...

Above is the front room- when you walk in the door... Technically it is our formal living and dining room...

We have already switched out the chandelier (cause that gold had to go!)

This is the family room. We already put in a super comfy sectional...

The front door!

Entrance to our neighborhood...

One side of the kitchen... Love my white cabinets and granite counters!

Kitchen view 2!

Favorite area of the house- the loft on the second floor. This is the "kid zone"

The view into our master bath/closet

Our Master Bedroom!

Hotel Living and baby makin'

So...we are officially homeless! We cleared housing today and are living in the hotel n post...which is awesome. Finally got a good sleep last night. Think the amount of stress lately is wearing on me. I have had a sty in my eye, a cold sore, back pain and general weakness lately. I know it is stress. What can you do though? I feel a huge relief today. I am more relaxed and can finally take a big breath.

Hard to believe that this time next week... We will be waking up in Colorado. That is awesome. Unbelievable how fast it has gone.

So...some updates. My neck is healing beautifully. It is numb around the scar and up to my chin. Small price to pay though. But the actual scar is great.

Our house is going great. Still set to close on November 8. I cannot wait to see it and only one more week until we get to!

I convinced myself I had MRSA. I believe I may have cervical cancer. My husband believes I am not officially a hypochondriac. Lol...Get cancer. It happens. Haha (by the way...I don't have either).

I have been a lot more confident lately. I know this is treatable.i know this time next year I will be ok. So that makes me think of my future more. I am so sad we lost the baby this past spring. Now I thank that baby for saving my life. Since I was no longer preggo- I finally was able to have my thyroid taken care of. I would have put it aside even longer. But I haven't lost my desire for the third Koko baby. That may seem crazy. At this point, I don't even have the energy for the two I have. Getting preggo can raise hormone levels that some say can increase my risk of cancer. Not saying it will happen... Heck, the hubby isn't even on board, but it is tempting.

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Exhausted

Cannot stop flipping between totally positive/gonna "kick this cancers ass"/this is the good cancer feeling and overwhelmed/negative/don't wanna be dealing with this sort of attitude.

I need to keep reminding myself...this is not unbeatable. This will suck. But it is not unbeatable.

I will beat this. One year from now, life will be normal again.

Fall is my favorite time of year. Maybe this fall will not be ideal. Yet, next year will only be better right?


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A place for my thoughts

So... Been thinking that I need to blog again. I have never claimed a specific focus on my blog. Wouldn't call myself a mommy blogger. Or a military wife blogger. Or a do-it-yourself blogger. Now I will say... I a a cancer survivor blogger.
There are days since my diagnosis where I am totally consumed with heart pounding thoughts. I have had what feels like the start of panic attacks lately. In my waking moments, I sometimes find myself wondering what life will be like next year at this time. I wonder about who my new doctors will be in Colorado.
So, an update. I had radiation. The first day, we found out that my neck is totally overrun with cancer. There are tons of lymph nodes involved and they are huge. I felt totally overwhelmed hearing that. I will need a radical neck dissection. They will cut from each of my ears to the outside edges of my thyroidectomy scar and clean out my neck. It is a HUGE. I am reading 6-10 hours of surgery people. Then a month later, another round of radiation.
The good news from that weekend of radiation treatment, it has not spread beyond my neck. With my type- it can spread to the lungs... It hasn't!
I'm not a super churchy person... But my girlfriend sent me a picture on Facebook with the quote- sometimes god calms the storm. Sometimes he lets the storm rage on and calms his child. As I sat in the full body scan that morning- I kept repeating... Calm the Storm. Calm the Storm.
When I got the results... I have never been soooo grateful in my life. Never.

While I have to face a big surgery. Another round of radiation. I get life. How can I not be grateful.

Yet, I still have stressed out moments. So now I will come here. I will talk them through here. I will use this forum to vent my stress. My sadness. My exhaustion. My fear.

If that is not what you signed up for when you became a follower of this blog... I understand you not following anymore... I need a place to deal with this...

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Location:Hammerstadtweg,Lehrberg,Germany

Life on hold

I feel like life is on hold. I can't make any moves cause I am awaiting what that scan will show. I go through everyday.... A smile on my face... Doing normal stuff (with a lot less energy). I'm tired. Physically, of course. Emotionally, obviously.
I know this is a cancer that won't kill me. Yet, I feel like a shell of myself. I crawl into bed at 5:30-6 pm each night and lay here wondering what to think. I did a lot today but feel like I'm just going through the motions. I want to enjoy every second with my family but I am so drained.

I don't think anyone gets it either. First off, due to me pushing myself and keeping that smile on my face. Constantly. Also, cause they can't understand. They have no clue how hard being hypo is. NO thyroid function... Essentially effects all aspects of your body function. I'm tired. My mind is all screwy. More importantly... My body just cannot hang. I need to crawl into bed at 6pm. Yet my mind is not ready for bed. So I lay here cause my body just cannot move anymore today. I will finally fall asleep after awhile and then a few hours later I will toss and turn for hours.

The morning is the best time for me. Even waking up at 5am with Carter lately, I feel ok. But by 9:30am, my eyes are heavy and my body weak.

I try not to complain. Really, I have it easy. After reading some people's experiences going hypo... I am lucky! I think my body is celebrating that big chunk of cancer being out of my body!

Another crappy aspect, the Low Iodine Diet I have to be on for two weeks before radiation starts. Everything has iodine! Today for lunch, I ate a piece of iodine free white bread I made with all natural peanut butter sprinkled with cinnamon/sugar, an apple and some craisins. I had to watch everyone else eat my favorite curry wurst and pommes though:( Only four more days though! Woohoo! I already stocked up on snacks to bring to the hospital with me. The minute that pill is in my system... Bring on normal food! Lol

I am down 7 lbs though! In a week and a half! Yay!

Enough complaining. I have a treatable cancer. I have an easy form of treatment....compared to others. I have AMAZING support. Family and friends from all over the world calling, messaging, flying to me! Hugs that have meant the world to me. Cookies in the mail. Uplifting messages that seem SO well timed. A dad who is deathly afraid of long flights- made the journey here to Germany. In laws who have loved me like their own daughter and totally relieved some of the parental pressures so Lee & I could get our stuff together!

The military community we are in has rallied. Been our "net." The group downrange sending Lee home and getting paperwork to release him from theater quick. Getting his personal stuff sent back ASAP. Offering help in getting us back stateside ASAP. Offering to watch kids, push paperwork, contact their "friends," find Lee jobs at certain locations, get groceries for us, send flowers... The list goes on and on!

There is never a way to thank everyone. Not adequately anyhow. There will never be a way. Even in the worst of moments... We feel blessed. And loved.

Tomorrow morning, Lee and I will go to a long coffee together. We are going to sit down and make our plan. A PCS is happening. Quick! Made even quicker because of the stress of my first radiation treatment being right in the middle of all this. So, we are sitting down and making our list of tasks. Here. We. Go.



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Location:My bed

Update

 Yep. Still have cancer. The colors for it rock though. My girlfriends had a bunch of these bracelets made for all of us. Pink, teal and blue.

I actually have diffuse sclerosing papillary thyroid cancer. If you look it  up- there is not much out there. Like 0.08% of thyroid cancers are this type. It is more aggressive but once treated- same prognosis as other types. Still good. There is a good risk it is in my lungs. But that is livable.

 Lee got his paperwork releasing him from theater (he won't be returning to Afghanistan this deployment). So he is now starting the work on getting us back to the states asap. I will have my initial treatment here Sept 20. One round of Radioactive Iodine Therapy. Then a full body scan to see exactly what we are dealing with. Then I want to be stateside to do further treatment.

We will be heading to Colorado still hopefully... just a few months earlier than planned. Ideally I would love his report date to be mid-Dec... and we would leave here the end of Nov. Not how I wanted to leave this place that I have loved for 4+ years- in a rush. But you do what you have to do right??

My inlaws have been amazing. Totally taken care of the house and kiddos (and hubby & I).  I have been showered with flowers, well wishes, prayers etc.   I have this amazing bracelet to remember how much I am loved and supported through this all. My sister and dad arrive in three days to help for 5 weeks!! Woohoo!!

My sis will also be moving to Colorado to live with us to help out. In spite of the crap- I feel blessed. This cancer sucks. Yet- it has covered me in love. It has had my "net" surround me and support me. It is treatable and livable!

Papillary Thyroid Cancer

Yep. At 33, I have it. Went in last week for a thyroidectomy. Two days later- the reports were in- cancer. I NEVER even considered it a possibility- so to say I was blindsided- is a major understatement.

It is treatable. It is *the cancer* to have. It is slow moving. Treatments are easy (comparatively to others).

I know all this.

I'm 33.

I have 2 adorable kiddos.

I have cancer.

I am in a foreign country.

Luckily- my husband is home. I am 99% sure he will not be leaving me to head back to war. We should know better later this week for sure.

I know I have an amazing net of support.

I am blessed to feel SOOO much love.

I have friends offering frequent flyer miles to get family here.

I know I want to be stateside and feel my best friends hand in mine. To hug my dad. To comfort my mom- who is usually the rock in these situations and I can hear her crumbling over the phone.

I love that my mother in law is here and we will get my father in law in two days.

I love that the Army got my husband home in an insanely quick timeframe. 

I love that I can be positive a majority of the time and know that no matter what the full body scan shows in a few weeks- there is a lot of promise for treatment options.

Ugh.

It has been awhile...

Wow. I honestly do not want to look back to when my last post was... Ignorance is bliss right?
Here are some highlights of life....

*Over 4 months into this crappy deployment. Yep. Crappy is the best word I can think of. Only a little bit longer until I get two weeks with my man though! I miss my hot Pilot!

*I have surgery next week. Taking my thyroid out. I had put it off cause of the pregnancy but now that we have decided to officially be done with kiddos- time to take care of myself!

*My mother in law comes a week from today and the father in law comes ten days later. Super excited.

*WE ARE MOVING TO COLORADO!!! Yep! Yay! It won't be til next Spring but Lee will be part of the new 4th CAB opening there next year. It means a few years of non-deployable time. It means outdoor family time! It is just where we wanted to go. A cheap flight to both sets of parents. The amazing outside lifestyle we miss from Washington State. We are thrilled. The position is amazing for Lee's future!

* We had a fantastic trip for 6 days to Vienna Austria and Berchtesgaden Germany. 9 women. Something like 21 children. A lodge. Wine. Perfect!

 Kim and I in a fantastic Biergarten in downtown Berchtesgaden.

 Yummy meal after a busy first day in Vienna. We had 2 tables of people. SO fun. (Paige Kimball Photography)

 Of course we found an amusement park in Vienna! Hilarious! (Paige Kimball Photography)

Have you ever heard of a Rodelbahn? It is a luge sort of course down a mountain on a metal track in a sled with a brake you use to control it.  I raced a 17 year old. I flipped it. Crap! lol

*We did an 80's Themed birthday dinner for Melissa's 30th! We trained it to Nurnberg and ate an awesome dinner at Tapasitos (a Tapas bar)... So fun!

* I have a new glass. We call him Magistan. Magic Mike meets Afghanistan. Lol





Long time coming!

Ok, back to blogging friends! Here are some pictures from my Fathers Day 6k in Rothenburg ob der Tauber. Not my best run. I chose the wrong clothes- and fought the entire race with pulling my pants up and my tank down. It was awful. The course alternated from dirt to pavement to cobblestone over and over. It was a series of circles and we were constantly crossing paths with the half marathoners and the 10K'ers. And did I mention that it was SUPER hilly? The final stretch before the finish line was straight up hill. Like STRAIGHT up hill! By the time you got to the red carpet stretch at the end- you were completely toasted.

Amy and I with our near beers after the race.

Somehow my friend Nancy got out of the loop and passed me the opposite way during the race. Luckily, she was able to get this killer picture of me.

Here is Ronda and I nearing the finish line. It took me a grueling 51 minutes to finish about 4 miles. Way slower than I am used to  but I guess this is what happens when you stop running.Back to the grind.

I am signed up for another race. It is Oct 21.

Yep- Amsterdam!!

Training starts next week. I even bought a treadmill:)

A bunch of friends are doing it and I am excited. Wish me luck!