We are at almost 13 years. I married him when I was 21 and he was 25. We have lived in 4 states and 2 countries. We have traveled extensively. We have 2 amazing kiddos. We have had ups and downs for sure. At the end of the day, he is amazing.
Yet noone talks about the sucky days. No one talks about the day when you realize that times have gotten difficult. His hair is recedeing. Your waist is expanding. Your days are filled with obligations for the kids. You are both exhausted at night. You roll your separate ways at night, each desperate for a full night of uninterupted sleep.
Your conversations tend towards weekly calendar synching. You eat dinner together as a family still but most of the conversation is led by children and less is with eye contact between you two. You brush your teeth side by side. Instead of smiling at each other- you are secretly bitching in your head about how loud he brushes and how he splashes the water onto the freshly cleaned mirror.
We cuddle less. We have fewer secret jokes. We long for a weekend away... without kids and without one another.
It sounds awful. Right now it is for us. I blame the stress of a cancer diagnosis. A move back to the US after 4 years overseas. The stress of a new job for Lee, where they are insanely understaffed in his position, is not helping. A 3 year old is definitely NOT helping either... lol.
Truth is, I cannot imagine life without him. I know he feels the same. I know that marriage does suck sometimes. We take each other for granted. We put other things first. We rush to softball, meetings, parties... We forget to grab each others hands during it all. I know they say that marriages have rough patches. I know we will find our way out the other side. We both laughed today- that eventually it will all come back to normal- we are thinking it will be in about 2 years (when we are out of the toddler stage).
Transitions stink. We will get through. I know it. Thanks for letting me vent!
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