So... Been thinking that I need to blog again. I have never claimed a specific focus on my blog. Wouldn't call myself a mommy blogger. Or a military wife blogger. Or a do-it-yourself blogger. Now I will say... I a a cancer survivor blogger.
There are days since my diagnosis where I am totally consumed with heart pounding thoughts. I have had what feels like the start of panic attacks lately. In my waking moments, I sometimes find myself wondering what life will be like next year at this time. I wonder about who my new doctors will be in Colorado.
So, an update. I had radiation. The first day, we found out that my neck is totally overrun with cancer. There are tons of lymph nodes involved and they are huge. I felt totally overwhelmed hearing that. I will need a radical neck dissection. They will cut from each of my ears to the outside edges of my thyroidectomy scar and clean out my neck. It is a HUGE. I am reading 6-10 hours of surgery people. Then a month later, another round of radiation.
The good news from that weekend of radiation treatment, it has not spread beyond my neck. With my type- it can spread to the lungs... It hasn't!
I'm not a super churchy person... But my girlfriend sent me a picture on Facebook with the quote- sometimes god calms the storm. Sometimes he lets the storm rage on and calms his child. As I sat in the full body scan that morning- I kept repeating... Calm the Storm. Calm the Storm.
When I got the results... I have never been soooo grateful in my life. Never.
While I have to face a big surgery. Another round of radiation. I get life. How can I not be grateful.
Yet, I still have stressed out moments. So now I will come here. I will talk them through here. I will use this forum to vent my stress. My sadness. My exhaustion. My fear.
If that is not what you signed up for when you became a follower of this blog... I understand you not following anymore... I need a place to deal with this...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Hammerstadtweg,Lehrberg,Germany
1 comment:
Thanks for the honesty and candor. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You stated it perfectly though, you get a life. I'm also not a churchy person, but I also think that God makes his presence when we need it the most. Hang in there, and no I won't be leaving your blog :) take care. Have a great day. xx Shauna www.shaunawyrick.com
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