While daddy flys- momma blogs

So, the Mr is out flying tonight. While I miss him when he is gone- I sorta enjoy the quiet it brings into the house in the evenings. I know that I will be able to put the kiddos down at their bedtime and head upstairs and curl up to whatever tv show is on tonight. (I think it is Dancing with the Stars:))

Today- I had my appointment up in Nurnberg. It is about 75 miles roundtrip to my Dr office. That is a lot of thinking time. It is a lot of time to myself- of which I am not complaining (like the alone time but hate the gas to get to and from- we are currently paying $4.40 a gallon people)

I found myself turning the radio up loud along the back roads. The sunroof was open. My sunglasses were on. I was lost in songs that all of a sudden had special meaning to me. The one that reminded me of the "one" that broke my heart 13 years ago... the one that makes me think of my baby sister and the journey she is on... the one that makes me think of the journey I am on now with my running quest... I found myself replaying the song over and over- each time getting a little louder and each time adding more and more words that I was actually singing out loud with the song. It is cathartic. Losing yourself in the weather, music, kid free time...

The appt was ok. I need to restart my cycle- which I should have known and should have started the pills myself before even going up there. It was a wasted visit. Dealing with fertility stinks. The drive of wanting a baby is strong but each visit/shot/pill/exam/drive etc bruises you a little bit. It knocks you a little lower. It is hard to take. I know the end is what matters but it doesn't make the disappointments any easier along the way... While my hubby is a great supporter- it is still a journey that no one else goes along with you on. No one knows what I feel and how I struggle some days...

On to better news. I did not run today. I wanted to. Yet, the C25K program is for 3 days a week. I really want to do this right. I want to follow the program. If at the end of 10 weeks- I can really run for 30-45 minutes straight- that will be fantastic. I am hoping to be pregnant within a month and a half. I am planning on keeping up with the running though- even after getting knocked up... cause lets be honest people- my running is not any sort of high speed running:)

Happy happy Tuesday. The weather is a little rough outside right now and I am totally soaking it in. I am taking advantage of that and curling up on the couch in pj pants enjoying the warmth of my house!

Enjoy your Tuesday friends...