So... I have experienced Army life on a multitude of posts. I have spent time at Ft Jackson South Carolina, Ft Sam Houston (Yeah Riverwalk- boo Texas), Ft Bragg North Carolina (Home of the 82nd), Ft Lewis Washington (our favorite so far), Ft Rucker Alabama (yeah "Mother Rucker"), Ft Bragg (again) and now on our third year in Ansbach Germany.
Our Army life has changed along with our address over the years... uniforms keep changing (thanks Army for that- everytime we have a formal- hubbys uniform needs different colored striping or different ribbons...blah blah blah)... rank keeps changing (not a bad thing cause increase in rank means more shoes in mommas closet)... his MOS changes (Army jargon for his job- nurse to pilot)...household size (Ft Sam saw wild n crazy twenty somethings to now the settled- hehe- thirty somethings we are with kids here in Germany)...
Some background you may need to know- Lee was an Army brat. Never knew anything different. Used to moving and making new friends. Never truly planted roots. He considers NC home cause he graduate high school there and went to college there (\/ Go Wolfpack)- plus his parents retired there.
I on the other hand (and by other hand- mean someone elses hand in a completely different state cause it is soooo far apart) went to first grade with some of the same people I graduate high school with. California is my home. It is where my parents are. It is where my friends are. It is where I picture when I say the word...{home}...
You need to know that background cause it ties into my "love-hate" relationship with the Army. I do love it. I was active duty for 3 1/2 yrs and been married into since 2000. There is this amazing adventure about moving to a new place (even though you seem to go back to the same places alot). My kiddos have literally seen the world. At 8 yrs old my daughter has lived in Washington state, California, Alabama, North Carolina and souther Germany. She has seen the Bahamas, France, Italy, Spain, Austria, Switzerland, Poland, Scotland, Belgium, Luxembourg, Nederlands, England, Germany and that long L country (next to Switzerland)that is smaller than Rhode Island!!
We live in a house that is probably about 3000 sq feet and brand new- for free~ no utilities either! I have been able to stay home with my two kiddos building forts and working in classrooms.
So- you are asking about the hate part of the relationship. Yes- hate is a strong word. I rarely use it. But this time it fits! There is one HUGE hate- distance. I cannot stand being away from my family and friends. Being across the country is tough. Being across a country and an ocean- is even worse. I think it is the time difference that makes it feel impossible sometimes... 9 hours is rough! I have to wait until roughly 3:30 to call my mom cause she is usually getting ready for work by then. I usually have most my conversations with people from home after dinner my time... which is when I am getting tired...
(FYI- I have been here 2 yrs and 4 months and gone back to the states 4 times! I was averaging every six months...- lol )
What is this rant (aka posting) about? We are turning in paperwork to stay here an extra three years. There are days that I am completely set with this decision. I am excited for the stability it brings. Then there are days like today that I struggle... that I want nothing more than to be closer to home (even though closer may still be 2000 miles from home)... I wonder if I am making the right decision. I wonder if I am cheating my parents from a relationship with their grandkiddos... or vice versa. I wonder if I can make another international flight with 2 kids and a crudload of bags for a whirlwind (and far from relaxing trip). I wonder if I can do another 12 months alone (which will happen anywhere we move) in a foreign country...
Benefits of here? Small post life. Wonderful travels. Stability for my kiddos (big one!) Living in a foreign country. Financial pluses for sure. Some great friends are here.
At the end of the day... it always works out... I always find peace in our decision... at least until the next time those questions come back up... until the next time I am missing my mom... or wishing I could curl up on the couch with a glass of wine and my BFF of almost 20 years (wow we are old- I am only 31...lol)... or simply long for the weather or Northern California...
Hmmmph... sorry for the rant... being a grownup and making life decisions stinks sometimes... lol
1 comment:
Wow! It is really neat to see the insight into that part of army life. It takes a special kind of person to be able to handle it all and be a single-parent half the time. You are a strong woman, Brenna!
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