I have rewritten this first paragrpah like 5 times! Lets just say that today was surprising. I was confronted with the possible loss of a friendship. I am talking a long term friendship that I never imagined would be threatened.
I was torn when faced with this upset friend. Part of me was telling myself to move on. I am not clear of any fault in this issue. I am not sure what angered the person but I was not told either. I confronted them with the noticable distance. I feel like I wasn't given the chance to fix what was wrong. And honestly- another big thought- it has been a ROUGH four months. I have had a major surgery. I am adjusting to a new country, new state, new home, new life... and an 11 inch long scar across my neck. And- still having cancer.
If you are a good friend- wouldn't you address an issue when it starts? Wouldn't you take into account that right now- I need my friends. Whatever I did- doesn't compare to what I am going through. I have not talked to this friend in four months. There was no message after surgery. No well wishes. I feel awful because life is not grand for her either. She was overseas, with a hubby deployed and a kiddo. I should have checked in. I should have let her know I think about her ALL the time. But life- life has been hard here.
So, while I tell myself that I am struggling to take care of myself right now and that I do not need this stress... that other part of me is devastated. Devastated that this friendship got to this point. Devastated that I was not given the chance to address it. Honestly, while my life has been sucking lately- she is obviously hurt and that hurts my soul.
Frustrating.
1 comment:
I have no words {{HUGS}}
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